I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize