I'm so fucking centered right now
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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