he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My balls are so social today.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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