I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just found puke in my bra..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
