i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
