smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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