Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.

(614): View more from Ohio

Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.

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(453): View more from

apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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(440): View more from Ohio

mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.

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(925): View more from California

I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.

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(407): View more from Florida

Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon

(407): View more from Florida

Covered in confetti and bad decisions

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(619): View more from California

Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"

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