I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
