I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
