i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
