i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
