So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it penis luge time yet?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
