I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
