I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
