Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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