Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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