Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize