Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
