What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
