Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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