Kiss
Puke
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
