just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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