the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize