And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
40s are totally the cure
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
