If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
