okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
