you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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