i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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