Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
