the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
