You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
handjob tips. give me some.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
