If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
