Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
