Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize