Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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