Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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