Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
