I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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