Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
