and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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