do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize