FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
