I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize