Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
