I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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