good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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