you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize