I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
