If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
