he wants to bone in the snuggie
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
