I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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