bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
