I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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