If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
