I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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