he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
