But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
