why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
two words...techno handjob
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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