Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
