I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
COCAINE IS GR8
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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