He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
two words: eviction party
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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