Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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