The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
