Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
