You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm passing your future prison.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
